By-Kate Bockhorst
The Influencers
Shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant make it appear acceptable for young teen girls to become pregnant and think nothing about it. Young teenagers are having unprotected sex and not giving one moment of consideration about the consequences that could follow and change their lives forever.
Teens get so caught up in the moment, and yet, later realize they may make serious mistakes that will affect the rest of their lives. There is no flash back to start over. Once the deed is done, it is time to realize what they truly have gotten themselves into a mess and their childhood is gone forever.
A child ends up raising a child.
This story is so true for many young women who became teen moms.
The Lives Affected
Candis Smith was your average all American girl living in Canton, Ga. She had everything you could think of. She was the oldest of three children and was a very spoiled daddy’s girl. Smith had her father wrapped around her little finger.
“Whatever I wanted, I got,” Smith said.
Growing up, her parents were always there, but after their untimely divorce when she was 10, Smith began to feel lost and started hanging out with the wrong crowd.
This is when she began to do the things that she is now ashamed of, and that would transform her future.
“It was hard because I felt like I had no family to turn to, so my friends became my family. That is what started me down the wrong path. I wish my dad would have been there for me more and asked me if I was all right. That probably would have helped me to avoid my whole situation,” Smith said.
Smith realizes now that with more parental guidance, many situations with teens can be avoided all together.
“I know I won’t make the same mistake with my children,” Smith said.
She became a mom at the age of 18. The pregnancy was very much unexpected and unwanted, but she never regretted having her child. Smith had a falling out with the birth father and became a single mom when she was six months pregnant.
“I was scared of doing this alone. It took two to create a baby, not one and it wasn’t fair to leave me like that. I had to grow up fast on my own,” Smith said.
She was one of the lucky ones though and had a supportive father who provided everything she and the baby needed.
“I don’t know where I would be without him,” Smith said.
She had a fairly smooth pregnancy and in May 2009, gave birth to a healthy baby boy, whom she named Cullen.
Donnie Smith, Candis’ dad, said he was stunned when he first found out about her pregnancy.
“I shocked at first because a baby is a lot of responsibility,” Donnie Smith said. “Kids should do more to prepare their self before sex, talk out the what ifs.”
“Life now is good, Cullen is the most important thing in our lives. He is a blessing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Donnie Smith said.
“I can’t imagine my life now without my son. He is my world,” Smith said.
Few pregnancies are as smooth and normal as Smith’s. Brianna Harrelson of Augusta, Ga., is an example that is completely opposite.
She became a teen mom at the age 19.
“Everyone knows about protection. It is just that no one thinks it'll happen to them and a lot of times doctors tell you that you can't get pregnant so you don't need birth control,” Harrelson said.
Harrelson had a totally different situation than Smith. When she was growing up, she was known as the “good girl.” She made good grades and was the apple of her parent’s eyes.
Harrelson stayed out of trouble and lived a pretty carefree life up until the point she went to Georgia Southern University for her first year of college. This decision would forever change her life.
This university is where Harrelson met her future husband Jake Harrelson.
They dated for a year and a half before anything sexual ever happened. Before she met Jake Harrelson, she was known as a pretty straight laced girl. After seeing each other for several months, he convinced her to try and experiment with new things and this would ultimately result in her pregnancy. She became engaged when she was eight months pregnant and married shortly after that.
After they married, the new couple settled in at Jake Harrelson parents’ home in Alpharetta, Ga., for a couple of months while they saved for a house of their own.
“Abstinence now seems a thing of the past,” Harrelson said.
Problems Arise
Unlike Smith, Harrelson’s pregnancy was marked with countless months of morning sickness and several trips to the hospital.
She was very fatigued and was scared at times she might lose her unborn child. That, although unimaginable, did cross her mind at several points.
She only gained 15 pounds through her entire pregnancy, and that worried her doctors that the baby would be born with developmental issues because of her tiny size.
Despite her doctor’s wishes to perform a C-section for early delivery, Harrelson insisted on doing things her way and ended up going through a natural childbirth.
In July 2009, after a long stint on bed rest, Harrelson gave birth to a healthy 11 pound baby girl that she named Lily.
“You don’t even think about it ... then you get pregnant, so regardless of whether you are supposed to be medically able to have kids or not you still should protect yourself,” Harrelson said.
Harrelson throughout her marriage has been the main provider for Lilly. She works full time and just bought her first home in Alpharetta. She also recently just purchased a brand new car.
Her husband is a dead beat dad who would rather hang with his friends then be a father.
Jake Harrelson works part-time for his dad’s construction company, but the pay is minimal, and what he does make, he spends on himself, she said.
Harrelson said she literally has to beg her husband to spend time with their daughter. She is so tired of fighting a losing battle.
Having married so young and birthing a baby has taken a toll on their marriage. Harrelson is planning to file for a divorce when her finances will allow.
“I knew from the start that being married was just too much for us, but I wanted my daughter to have a father in her life. Now, I just need to do what is best for me,” said Harrelson now 21.
“I am scared to be alone, but I know I have to do what is best for me and my daughter. She is my first priority,” Harrelson said. “It is even worse because my parents are still in Augusta, and do not provide me any help financially.”
Although Harrelson is scared to take that next step forward, she knows that it is for the best, and she is being the best parent she can be.
“Lilly is now the light of my life. I can’t picture a day going by that I could not be with her. She truly is a miracle baby, and I am so blessed and thankful” Harrelson said.
Any young teen mom will tell you about all the struggles of raising a baby. The costs are outrageous and many young mothers are left to be raising the child by themselves because the dads walk out of their children’s lives when the pressure becomes too great. Everyone is not suited to be a parent and teenagers especially need to start thinking before they act.
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